Oct 26 2008
I Dream Of Acting
Acting has always been my dream ever since I was a young girl. I remember sitting down in front of the television with my family and telling them how I wanted to be an actress. I wanted to be able to perform, sing, dance and act on a stage. Whenever I went to see theatrical productions like musicals I would sit in awe of the actor’s. Now I go and watch them and feel sick with jealousy. Inside I long to be like them up on that stage performing in front of a big audience.
Recently I went to see John Barrowman give a talk about his success and although I love him I felt envious of his success. Of course, I want him to be successful because he’s fantastic and an amazing person, but I cannot help thinking if only that were me. I haven’t had the same opportunities as other people because for a long time I battled with depression and other mental health problems. I couldn’t possibly begin to say half of what I have been through and whilst I know other people have had difficult lives and I’m not saying poor me because of what has happened in my life I haven’t been able to go for my dreams until now. I’m 31 years old now and in a couple of weeks I will be 32 and I haven’t made it. I’m getting too old to become a successful performer. Hardly anyone is interested in a 32 year old actress. They all want people younger. I look young and though I’d like to lie about my age and would easily pass for a young 20 year old I don’t believe in lying. I want to go to a London drama school, but would anyone be interested in me?
So, here I am having a good old moan. Premenstrual and looking back on my life thinking what if? I knew I should have gone for my dream when I was younger. So what do you think? Is there any chance for me? Could I ever make it at my age?
